An Open Letter

Dear Homeless Man Under the 5th Street Bridge,

Thank you for your kind (albeit vulgar) remarks regarding my feminine assets. While your blend of crude language and flattery were not effective in wooing me, I commend you for your effort.

Although I did not feel compelled to respond to (or acknowledge) your initial comments, I would like to clarify one point. I realize that my short hair and flat heeled shoes might be misleading but, contrary to your openly expressed conclusion, my disinclination to respond to you was not a function of my sexual orientation.

Better luck in your future efforts to find a mate.

p.s. you may find your efforts will be more fruitful if you refrain from making comments about one's mother.