Tour Divide Day 25.

230km. Single Track to Antelope Wells.
Total time: 13.5 hours.

This should be it. The home stretch. Only 230km to go.

*Only* 230km?

It is hard to reconcile the feeling of being so close to the finish with the enormity of the task ahead. This is not like the home stretch of a marathon, where I can drag myself through the last 45 minutes of discomfort, counting down the kilometres. This is probably going to take me 14 hours. At least the profile is flat; the only passes that I will see today are 'Do Not Pass' and 'Pass With Care'.

Looking at my odometer isn't going to help me. At all. Yet, I keep looking down. I create a distraction by telling myself the story of this adventure. State by state. Person by person. Epic obstacle by epic obstacle.

Sometimes it feels like this whole journey has been uphill. Like I could turn my bike around at any time and I could just coast home. Of course, I can't go back. I am a long way from where I started.

If I were blazing trail, maybe this would be easier. Maybe I would forgive myself for finding it so hard. Or maybe I would find it easier to throw in the towel and conclude that it is impossible. But, I know that I'm not the first. Not even close. And that tortures me. There are many others who have come through here before; many others who are coming through here *now*. They are coming through faster and stronger. Do they struggle the same way? Or am I just out of my league? I feel as though I should be capable of this since, clearly, others can do it. At the same time, I feel as though maybe I am not worthy of taking this same path. Maybe I am not cut out for this.

The final miles of this journey are flat and baron. I'm watching dust devils appear and then disappear in the distance. This is a wasteland and I'm moving away from civilization with every pedal stroke. Into nothingness. Total nothingness. And the road just keeps going and going. It is impossibly long.

This journey can be done in the opposite direction as well. Antelope Wells to Banff. At various points along the way, I considered that it would be better to start in Antelope Wells because Banff would be a more hospitable place to finish. I realize now that, for me, there could be no other way. It is so fitting to ride for so long in to this nothingness.

Antelope Wells is...the end.

...So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye...
...So you think you can love me and leave me to die...
...Oh, baby. Can't do this to me baby...
...Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here...

Thank you JP and Elizabeth Evans for getting me right out of Antelope Wells.

And thank you to the family, friends and strangers who offered their support and love along the way.
Mom and Dad, Meriah, Stappy, Erik B, Emma, Bill B, Gary B, Luke, John, Daniel, JP, Tom, Ray, Martin, Dave H, JohnnyP, Jill H, Matthew Lee, Cindy K, Carrie B, Horst S, Jesus, Kim F, Kim Ch, Lindsay G, Len DM, Ruth D, Kari V, Christina O, Shan, Kristian, Chris F, Kevin S, Alice M, Kendra R, Paul S, Paul W, Patrick P, Five Stroke, MOB, Miriam S, Sarah M, Cindy P, Lericson, Roy H, Claire S, Drei, Siew, Bonnie P, El Animal, TimmyD, Phil Touring, The Gang at Bow Cycle, Dallas, Craig M, Kate A, Steve W, The Ger, Linda G, Kyle H, Sandra Y, Dylan S, Henry Y, Steve A, Ed G, Katy C, Gary C, Shawna D, Gabor, Brent T, Mical D, Brenda D, Dana B, Ione H, Ali and Salima, Jennifer J, Elizabeth E, Gail E, Fred E, Cathy, Amy, Kelly, Sue, Mary F, Laurence, Martin H, kcab20, Angie, A mike from calgary, Big Bad Wolf, Cindy P, Michele, Yvonne S, Cate, Geri G, Scott at the Porcelain Rocket, Jeff and Jillian at the Wildlife Refuge, Rob and the gang at the Outdoorsman, Kirsten at Brush Mountain, Christian at Holland Lake Lodge, Dave at ComoDepot, Doug at the Tree House, Bev with the fifth wheel, Nita at the Toaster House, and the Jehovah's Witnesses, to name a few.

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